depression from pain

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Topic Title: depression from pain
Created On: 01/03/2003 12:40 PM

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 07/08/2004 04:42 PM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

Well I'm back. My knees are hurting bad today and my pain pills aren't working to well. It's really getting to me. Every time I start feeling a little better I hear someone else's horror story about knee replacement and I get scared. I hurt so bad after my back surgery and everyone tells me knee surgery is so much worse that I can't even imagine going through it. My life seems to be on hold right now. My daughter is having some health problems and so I have to be there for her right now and it makes it hard to help her when I can't even help myself. I guess I'll get through this but it seems like it's one thing after another. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel a little better allready.
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 07/07/2004 11:09 PM

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lilmonkeyshine

Posts: 86

Well people this is what the forum is all about it is to help and support each other!! : ) I must say it pisses me off to know that our men and service women cannot get proper medical attention. I am also Sorry to hear about you breast nodule. I was where you are 9 years ago at the age of 30. I had it removed and biopsied everything was fine. So hang in there. I have been through manipulation more times than I care to remember. it sucks I know. And Kittyfuson, may I suggest for your other knee try gloucosamine and coral calcium. both can be bought over the counter may take a couple months but it will help repair joint and bone damage. I am hanging in there, if either one of you need to talk please feel free to email me. Valori
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 07/06/2004 06:47 PM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

Thank you for the apology. I am truly sorry that your having such a hard time. I really feel ashamed of myself when I read some of the posts. Their stories are so much worse than mine. I don't have much support at home so I get really depressed sometimes. I had spinal fusion surgery in 1999 and it didn't go well and I had to have more in 2000 and it was a nightmare so just the mention of surgery scares me to death. Now my good knee is starting to hurt and I'm afraid of what the Dr. will say. Thanks to everyone for listening and Good Luck.
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 07/06/2004 06:47 PM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

Thank you for the apology. I am truly sorry that your having such a hard time. I really feel ashamed of myself when I read some of the posts. Their stories are so much worse than mine. I don't have much support at home so I get really depressed sometimes. I had spinal fusion surgery in 1999 and it didn't go well and I had to have more in 2000 and it was a nightmare so just the mention of surgery scares me to death. Now my good knee is starting to hurt and I'm afraid of what the Dr. will say. Thanks to everyone for listening and Good Luck.
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 07/06/2004 08:26 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

I have posted an apology to the woman to whose post I replied so harshly. As for being angry, I passed angry a few months ago and am now furious. The Army postponed ACL surgery that should have been done in FEB 2003. The reason? MONEY!!!!!!!!!! The commander of the military hospital would NOT allow active duty soldiers to be referred out to civilian doctors. The ACL surgery could not be done at the hospital because they deployed all the anesthesiologists. By the time they finally got around to doing ANYTHING, the condition of the knee had degenerated to the point that TKA was the only solution. What makes me furious is knowing that the bottom line was money. Active duty soldiers were not referred out because it would cost the Army money. I am a SSG-I am CERTAIN that if I had been an O8, and not an E6, no one what have told me that I have to wait. At this point, I AM unfit for duty-the primary reason is my attitude. This TKA surgery has changed my life, and NOT for the better. Had the original ACL surgery been performed back in 1999 (I have copoies of my medical records now and read the doctor's report), then TKA surgery would not have been necessary. (I have that writing from the civilian surgeon who did the knee replacement surgery). The way I look at it, the Army wanted to save money on me so the MG's and LTG's could continue to receive THEIR big, fat paychecks every month. I am absolutely heartbroken about this. I WANT to face the medical board, IN PERSON, so I can tell them exactly what I told you. As far as the Army "taking care of its own", I think that applies only to officers. Those of us who are NCO's are, OBVIOUSLY, not even worth necessary health care.
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 07/06/2004 08:26 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

I have posted an apology to the woman to whose post I replied so harshly. As for being angry, I passed angry a few months ago and am now furious. The Army postponed ACL surgery that should have been done in FEB 2003. The reason? MONEY!!!!!!!!!! The commander of the military hospital would NOT allow active duty soldiers to be referred out to civilian doctors. The ACL surgery could not be done at the hospital because they deployed all the anesthesiologists. By the time they finally got around to doing ANYTHING, the condition of the knee had degenerated to the point that TKA was the only solution. What makes me furious is knowing that the bottom line was money. Active duty soldiers were not referred out because it would cost the Army money. I am a SSG-I am CERTAIN that if I had been an O8, and not an E6, no one what have told me that I have to wait. At this point, I AM unfit for duty-the primary reason is my attitude. This TKA surgery has changed my life, and NOT for the better. Had the original ACL surgery been performed back in 1999 (I have copoies of my medical records now and read the doctor's report), then TKA surgery would not have been necessary. (I have that writing from the civilian surgeon who did the knee replacement surgery). The way I look at it, the Army wanted to save money on me so the MG's and LTG's could continue to receive THEIR big, fat paychecks every month. I am absolutely heartbroken about this. I WANT to face the medical board, IN PERSON, so I can tell them exactly what I told you. As far as the Army "taking care of its own", I think that applies only to officers. Those of us who are NCO's are, OBVIOUSLY, not even worth necessary health care.
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 07/06/2004 08:04 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

Sorry if I seemed harsh. I agree with you about the breaking point. Mine came last week when I was told that I have a "nodule" on my left breast. My knee replacement didn't go well-DVT, Manipulation 2 months ago, etc. I am still having problems with the studpid thing. I understand that people need support-we ALL do. I didnt intend to come off so harshly. The woman I replied to reminded me of my mother. My mother has been "dying" for the past 35 years. I've been forced to listen to HER laundry list of aches & pains, her impending death, her irrational fears, etc. Unfortunately, the relationship was not reciprocal. I say was because I finally cut of communicating with her. My own prolems were virtually overwhelming me, yet I received NO support from her, just the same old BS. The relationship was emotionally lopsided. I am certain that my mother has found a willing audience to listen to her, especially now that she can tell them what a rotten daughter she has and how victimized she is. I am sorry that I came off so harshly to the woman's post. My exasperation was not with her-I don't even know her. What she said simply sounded so familiar that I reacted. My apologies.
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 07/06/2004 08:04 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

Sorry if I seemed harsh. I agree with you about the breaking point. Mine came last week when I was told that I have a "nodule" on my left breast. My knee replacement didn't go well-DVT, Manipulation 2 months ago, etc. I am still having problems with the studpid thing. I understand that people need support-we ALL do. I didnt intend to come off so harshly. The woman I replied to reminded me of my mother. My mother has been "dying" for the past 35 years. I've been forced to listen to HER laundry list of aches & pains, her impending death, her irrational fears, etc. Unfortunately, the relationship was not reciprocal. I say was because I finally cut of communicating with her. My own prolems were virtually overwhelming me, yet I received NO support from her, just the same old BS. The relationship was emotionally lopsided. I am certain that my mother has found a willing audience to listen to her, especially now that she can tell them what a rotten daughter she has and how victimized she is. I am sorry that I came off so harshly to the woman's post. My exasperation was not with her-I don't even know her. What she said simply sounded so familiar that I reacted. My apologies.
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 07/05/2004 11:18 PM

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lilmonkeyshine

Posts: 86

I have read posts on here and nobody should be slamming anyone.I have come on here to say things I cannot share with my family.Because I feel they do not understand what it is I go through and I am thankful I found this forum,Because I can share what is going on with others and it helps to know I am not alone. I am 6 weeks post op now from my 4th revision surgery. I now have a 8 inch rod in my femur to hold the top prosthesis in. Recovery is slow and painful. And as much as I try not to be I find myself depressed and frustrated. Which I do not share with my family. It is much easier I guess to share with strangers. I do not feel that this makes me weak or that I am feeling pity for myself. everyone has a breaking point and I think after 16 some odd knee surgeries on the same knee I am entitled to have a breaking point, and entitled to mourn all things I can no longer do. After all we are all human.
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 07/04/2004 12:55 PM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

Since it is your HUSBAND and not YOU who is a soldier, I'm am certain that YOU have no clue what being a soldier entails. As far as the "tough military attitude" goes. it is a concept that keeps us going when there IS no one else to lean on. I am in an Army band and have the privilege, and the misfortune, to play for both troop returns and troop departures. The buglers in my band as gone 4 days a week playing for funerals of active duty soldiers who DID come home in body bags. At the moment, this IS my reality. And, by the way, YOUR judgemental attitude is no different than mine. If you don't like what I wrote than don't read it. I don;t believe anyone forced you to glue your eyes to the computer.
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 07/04/2004 12:55 PM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

Since it is your HUSBAND and not YOU who is a soldier, I'm am certain that YOU have no clue what being a soldier entails. As far as the "tough military attitude" goes. it is a concept that keeps us going when there IS no one else to lean on. I am in an Army band and have the privilege, and the misfortune, to play for both troop returns and troop departures. The buglers in my band as gone 4 days a week playing for funerals of active duty soldiers who DID come home in body bags. At the moment, this IS my reality. And, by the way, YOUR judgemental attitude is no different than mine. If you don't like what I wrote than don't read it. I don;t believe anyone forced you to glue your eyes to the computer.
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 07/04/2004 12:48 PM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

Thank you so much Susan for saying what I was thinking in your post. I was beginning to think I should just keep my feelings to myself. I know I should't feel so sorry for myself and I'll try hard not to. It is so good to have someone to talk to that understands. Thank you so much.
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 07/04/2004 12:48 PM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

Thank you so much Susan for saying what I was thinking in your post. I was beginning to think I should just keep my feelings to myself. I know I should't feel so sorry for myself and I'll try hard not to. It is so good to have someone to talk to that understands. Thank you so much.
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 07/04/2004 12:19 PM

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Susan3914

Posts: 124

To: Krystynales Maybe you haven't read enough posts to realize this is a SUPPORT forum - not a place to attack others or compare their physical issues to our soldiers at war. We all appreciate our military men and women and the sacrifices they make every day. My husband is a 20 yr. retired Army Cobra pilot so we are quite aware and supportive of military life and it's risks. This is just not the place to go there. Since you are even reading this forum, then you obviously have your own issues with pain and depression. It sounds like you are feeling somewhat guilty for having those feelings and you shouldn't. Every person has a right to feel down when they are in situations to need support. As I've said in a previous post, "chronic pain" is the #1 reason for suicide. I'm sure you wouldn't want to possibly push a person on the brink with an attacking post that makes them feel their situation is insignificant. NO pain is insignificant as it effects everyone differently. I have found 2 people on this forum who I communicate with constantly and have found them to be more supportive than anyone because we understand each other's situation. I would encourage you to use this forum to get support and let go of the "tough" military approach. You have valid reasons to be angry and scared - just not at the people here. If you want support, this is the place. If you just want to put others down, please take it somewhere else. Whatever happens, thank you for your military service. I'm sure I'm joined by everyone in saying we appreciate you and all the soldiers who fight and die for our continued freedom. p.s. my husband wondered if you have already looked into the appeals process if found unfit for duty by virtue of your knee replacement? Good luck, Susan
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 07/04/2004 11:32 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

I don't know if you read the posting from the woman who feels "so alone". BIG DEAL!! We come to this earth alone and we exit alone. I am fed up with people who expect everyone around them to continually prop them up and carry them. There are soldiers coming back from IRAQ with no legs, no arms, or worse-in body bags! FED UP WITH WHINERS
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 07/04/2004 11:32 AM

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snakeleo

Posts: 86

I don't know if you read the posting from the woman who feels "so alone". BIG DEAL!! We come to this earth alone and we exit alone. I am fed up with people who expect everyone around them to continually prop them up and carry them. There are soldiers coming back from IRAQ with no legs, no arms, or worse-in body bags! FED UP WITH WHINERS
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 07/04/2004 11:25 AM

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jvalart

Posts: 33

Its so true you have to be strong. I have had 6 surgeries to both my knees reconstructive to both. I wake to pain everyday, but I no longer that meds. They were just a habit because I was taking them long enough my system was use to them. They won't replace my knees because I am 41 years old. So thats ok I keep going on I don't do alot of walking but I don't let it stop me. I just tell myself there are others in worst shape than myself and at least these legs get me from A to B.
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 07/04/2004 12:41 AM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

I read your post and I'm very sorry for the bad hand you've been dealt. No matter how bad someone's situation is there's allways someone else that is worse off. No matter how many people you have around you when your in pain and your scared you can still feel very alone. I have kids and grandkids but they have their own lives and can't allways be there for me.I hope everything works out for you and I wish you the very best.
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 07/04/2004 12:41 AM

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kitty123

Posts: 84

I read your post and I'm very sorry for the bad hand you've been dealt. No matter how bad someone's situation is there's allways someone else that is worse off. No matter how many people you have around you when your in pain and your scared you can still feel very alone. I have kids and grandkids but they have their own lives and can't allways be there for me.I hope everything works out for you and I wish you the very best.
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 07/03/2004 09:44 PM

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Posts: 50

Krystynales- Hello. I read your post and you sure do have your plate full! I really don't know what to say except if you ever need to talk, you can email me. I know that sometimes what a person needs is someone else to listen. Good luck to you.
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